hahaha - heard this one before somewhere but still found it very funny the second time around! Thank you for that - needed a good excuse to laugh today, got a really bad cold - you know the sort, bad head, running nose, hacking cough, bucketfuls of germs, feeling very sorry for myself really! So thanks for the excuse to laugh... and start coughing again!
individuals wife
JoinedPosts by individuals wife
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3
A Religious Debate
by barry inabout ten years ago jehovahs witnesses were making many converts in the city of rome.
this was quite disturbing to the pope and the italian authorities.
the witnesses can stay.''.
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"Hey there all you lurkey ones..."
by Simon inhmmn, doesn't quite work does it?
ok...we'll stick with 'thirsty' then .
why not register and make a post or two...ask a question...make a statement...whatever !.
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individuals wife
Hi target!!
Good to have you out of lurking and into the realms of posting! Welcome to you! I lurked for many months before I finally came aboard, by that time I already felt as though I knew many of the people here, it was much like being a wallflower at a party watching everyone having a good time then suddenly feeling the urge to get up and boogey! And what a nice bunch they are in here, well, most of them....
I agree with much of what you say, certainly that the witnesses are not Gods organisation, that is so clear to those of us who have left. Like you none of my family are in the org. anymore which makes life so much easier, and leaving it so much easier. My husbands family left in the 70's and my husband left at the same time as I did, last November. So it is still early days for us, things can still be a little raw and tender sometimes but we are getting there. It is certainly hard work trying to repair the emotional damage that they have caused over the years. We too are planning to move out of the area, we feel very enclosed where we live, a lot of JWs in our immediate vicinity, all shunning us, it can be very uncomfortable having the constant reminders that we were ever in the local congregation. So a new break, a new area, new faces would definitely help us in our healing process and would certainly help me to cope with the anger I feel when constantly shunned.
Please feel free to let us here some more of your experiences, especially as you have a whole basketful! I'm sure we will benefit from hearing them!
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bump in the night
by finnrot inas i read this board i notice that there are a lot of people that like myself don't believe in god anymore, and when i run accross a post where someone is professing their belief in god, that i have nothing but utter distain for them, almost like they don't belong here.
for a newbie that's kind of a ridiculous position i guess.
as i was growing it was constantly shoved down my throat that every other belief system was contlolled by the devil and run by his little demons, so after 1975 came and went and i realized that the one true religion was full of crap also, that left me with only reality to grasp, and that's, you live you die and the the worms eat you.
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individuals wife
finnrot
my opinions are strong
er, yes, I see! Nothing wrong with having a strong opinion - I too have strong opinions on most things! I'd rather be in the company of people with strong opinions than in the company of people who couldn't care less.
when I run across a post where someone is professing their belief in God, that I have nothing but utter distain for them, almost like they don't belong here.
Oh, should I go then?! Do you really have disdain for me? I always had a religious leaning, even as a child and regularly attended Methodist Church until I recognised that I didnt follow the trinity theory, then I was drawn to the Baptist Church but again found problems.. then came the Witnesses... need I say more? When I left I found the religious side of my nature in absolute tatters, I no longer believed in God as I could not accept the 'God of the JWs', the God that would bring death and destruction to so many innocent people, my image of God was distorted.
Now that I have had time to reflect I find myself re-examining my faith and am still somewhat flailing around in the dark. I have many questions left unanswered, maybe some of them never will be - but I am still one of those people who believe that this life is so amazing, so incredible, so intricate that I can only believe in a Creator. There is so much in nature and biochemistry in particular that scream out the fact that we were designed.
I still tend to believe like you do that you live, you die and then the little worms eat you - I still doubt that God has any extra special treatment waiting for us when we die. Guess I will just have to wait and find out. I would like nothing better than to believe that I would wake up in heaven but I am certainly not going to fret about it, just live my life the best way that I can, be kind to small children and animals, be considerate, donate in some small way to charity, give a little of my spare time to voluntary causes... I think this is the best way to go, not to get hung up over things that we dont understand and cant ever hope to understand either.
I believe that just because the JWs have got a lot of things so wrong it does not mean that people should lose their faith altogether when they leave. One bad experience does not make the whole concept wrong.
There is a lot of good in a lot of religions, you only have to look at the drop in centres, food centres and soup kitchens and other help that they provide. And I doubt that many involved with these projects walk around with ' glassey eyes and welcoming death'! They just want to improve the lot of the unfortunate where they can.
Anyway, I can only commend anyone who can go through all that the organisation throws at them and still come out the other side with any vestige of spirituality or religious leaning!
Good to meet you by the way!!!
(Edited to correct errors, sniff, sniff.. hard to type when you have a stinking cold and your nose is dripping and you keep on having to blow it!)
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Greetings from Newbie
by c5 inmy name is cari.
i am fairly new here.
here is my story.. i was "raised in the truth".
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individuals wife
First of all - hi to you Cari - thanks for relating your story - it always amazes me that people can go through so much in the JWs and still come out the other side. I commend you for your courage in taking a stand against them and making decisions for yourself.
I haven't always made the best decisions for myself since leaving. But I know that is life, and is normal. One of the hardest things to get used to is realising that I do not have to be perfect! I got myself into that rut while being with the JW's...always watching what I was doing, etc etc. The relief is immense! The biggest thing I enjoy is being guilt free. I live life as I choose, not as what others would want me to live.
Isn't it amazing to be able to make decisions for ourselves without having to consult a society book so that the organisation may make our decisions for us! Yes, I agree that sometimes we may make the wrong decisions sometimes - but that is just part of life and the whole learning experience. I also agree that we do not have to be perfect - God does not expect us to be! I think all we can do is try our hardest to be the best that we can, to enjoy life while we have it, to try and be of some benefit to those around us, to bring up our children to understand the difference between right and wrong, to just get through life without causing pain to anyone else. I think that if we can achieve a little of all those things then we have accomplished a lot.
It is just so refreshing now to be able to look at life with anticipation and excitement - not an excitement about Armageddon and the destruction of all those innocent people, but an excitement about where our lives may take us. No longer is our life mapped out for us, meetings, field service, ministry school, pioneer school, Bethel... etc, etc. Our horizons have been broadened and we are free to be individuals. Enjoy your new life!!
Also, secondly, a big welcome to Maxine - good to have another UK face on this board!
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Hi, I'm new here
by sweetone2377 ini wanted to introduce myself real quick.
i was raised as a witness from the age of 10. i am now 23 yo.
i was disfellowshipped at the age of 19 for marrying a man who was studying.
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individuals wife
Welcome to Sweetone and Eldersdaughter
Good to have you here.
My heart aches for all those that have suffered such pain at the hands of the organisation. I believe that shunning is quite possibly one of the most dispicable things that one so-called Christian can do to another. I know from personal experience what anguish and stress it can cause, I also know that many only shun because of the fear that they too will be ousted from the congregation through association. I find it disgusting that the organisation rules through fear like that and find it incredible that they can call themselves 'Christlike'. Where in the Bible did Jesus shun anyone and treat them as though they were dead? Where in the Bible did Jesus cross over the road to avoid meeting the gaze of someone who did not share His beliefs? Where in the Bible did Jesus look into the eyes of someone with absolute hatred and loathing just because they chose to disagree with Him?
To me shunning just serves as a way to keep the congregation in line, to prevent them finding out the reasons why disgruntled people are leaving - I sent copies of my da letter to many 'friends' in the congregation when I left so that they would be in doubt as to my reasons. I even sat with some of them as they read them just to make sure that they were read. The outcome was sadly obvious - I was stilled shunned by them all.
I can understand your fears about the children - they are so innocent and should not be dragged in the absurd politics of the JW society. I think that they should be protected from all that as children. I made the mistake of becoming so involved with my congregation that my worldy family were somewhat neglected and it has taken quite a while for my children to become accustomed to spending time with them. The atmosphere used to be quite tense, especially around holiday seasons, it was as though everyone were treading on eggshells. Now, things are definitely more 'normal'.
I recognise that I am very fortunate indeed in that I no longer have any family at all in the organisation which makes my life so much easier. My heart goes out to all those who have to deal with difficult decisions and situations concerning parents and grandparents etc.
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My Story
by rmayer32 inbeing new here and reading some of the stories here i thought i would add mine.
not being as dramatic as some of them out there still thought i would share:).
i was born a jw as my mom was raised one from the time she was a toddler.
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individuals wife
Hi Rick
Good to have you here, and so glad to see your story had a happy ending. Like you I do not consider my time in the JWs to be as dramatic as some of the accounts that I read here, but I guess that even a less dramatic time in the organisation can still affect you for many years afterwards. I too disassociated myself after finally opening my eyes to the hypocrisy and prejudice that I was seeing. No longer could I go to the meetings in good conscience and certainly I could no longer pioneer, teaching things to people that I myself did not believe.
Your story shows that there indeed a chance of having a good, fulfilling and happy life after the organisation, the JWs seem to believe that if you no longer belong to their society that you will not be able to have happiness or a direction in life. How untrue that is - I can honestly say that since I left last Nov, with my husband also leaving with me by the way, I have never been more happy, more content, more determined to make my life a success. I have gone back to college, embarked on voluntary work and have an application for university being processed at this moment! Never could I have considered any of this if I had remained a JW. I now look forward to a better future, and also a better future for my children too.
Like I said - welcome to this site - I hope it gives you whatever you need - encouragement, a place to vent, a chance in indulge in lively debate - whatever you need. I personally come here to reaffirm what I already know, to stay determined in remaining out of the organisation and to give me a boost when I have had a bad day - I am surrounded by JWs where I live which means a constant round of shunning on a daily basis - it no longer upsets me, just makes me so very angry. It is good to know I am not alone.
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Once again, it's me
by Nicolas ini send you this post because i have a problem with timidity.
i don't know why but, since i'm young, i have this problem.
now, i will try to see a psychologist because i want to find the reason why i have this problem.
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individuals wife
Hi again Nicolas
I believe my husband has met you on this board, its nice to meet you myself - good to have you here!
I was interested to see that you linked your timidity to being young -I can understand that sentiment - I have just started back at college as a mature student in a class of 17 year olds and the majority of them seem to be the timid type. I think a lot of their timidity is due to a lack of self confidence, a quality that comes with maturity and experience, it is a big world out there and when you are young there are a lot of things to have to deal with and it can be very daunting. Also the influence of the JWs, I'm sure you would agree would only add to the list of things that a youth finds hard to cope with. Maybe these arent the reasons behind your own timidity but whatever your reasons are I am certain that a psychologist will be able to help you tremendously and help you gain that self confidence that you need.
As to your other point about your father - I know exactly how you are feeling - I have gone through those exact same circumstances myself. My father died in 1995 in very tragic circumstances, totally unexpectedly, and I grieved for him tremendously, the pain I felt at his loss was immeasurable. Then shortly afterwards I became a JW, my husband had been inactive for a number of years and we went back in together. The relief I felt upon learning about the resurrection hope was incredible. Then I left for a while, I had a real crisis of faith, again the grief for my father returned once more. I returned to the cong. after some months and again felt euphoric at the hope that I would see my father again. Then later on in my story I made the final break and disassociated. Again, the grief was overwhelming. I feel cheated now that I was ever misled and it makes me quite angry to think that some people only remain as JWs so that they may see dead loved ones again. Their motive is not right.
It is a hard thing to deal with and all I can say is that it does get easier, time is indeed a great healer. I just try to focus on the good times we had together, rememembering them with fondness and just letting the thought of whether I will meet up with him again - wherever- stay at the back of my mind.
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Mom Called Today To Brag O n The WTS
by drahcir yarrum ini have no way of knowing if this is true and i have my doubts, but my jw mother called a few minutes ago to inform me that at her meeting today they announced that there are about 100 jw's missing in the wtc destruction.
i guess that rules this out as having anything to do with armageddon or they wouldn't be missing.
or else their door to door activity didn't measure up.. she also told me that the nyc fire department was making use of an empty watchtower building during the cleanup.
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individuals wife
Fredhall - I applaud your comment - and thank you for it. For once I agree with you. Our heart should go our to all victims. Not just a few select ones.
Like many JW's, our heart goes out to all victims
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Mom Called Today To Brag O n The WTS
by drahcir yarrum ini have no way of knowing if this is true and i have my doubts, but my jw mother called a few minutes ago to inform me that at her meeting today they announced that there are about 100 jw's missing in the wtc destruction.
i guess that rules this out as having anything to do with armageddon or they wouldn't be missing.
or else their door to door activity didn't measure up.. she also told me that the nyc fire department was making use of an empty watchtower building during the cleanup.
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individuals wife
Fredhall,
You are unneccessarily nasty.
Drachir - I would urge caution in believing these things - I had heard that the JWs were 'rejoicing' that none of their brothers and sisters had been affected. This may have changed but I find it hard to believe that they have come up with a figure as high as 100 after first of all saying zero. I for one would hope that it is zero as I would not wish this on my worst enemy, indeed my heart bleeds for all those suffering at this time.
As to the use of a building - I cant comment on that one I'm afraid. I would hope it was true, for humanitys sake, but I have a feeling that this is wishful thinking on the part of your mum, and is just rumour and gossip. Hope I can be proved wrong, but I doubt it.
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To Babyboo
by finalcall inhello babyboo.
i was a jw for 38 years and was blind to many of the things that go on inside.
i never really began to see or acknowledge these things until i was on my way out.
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individuals wife
Frightmare - How on earth do you come to the conclusion that final call is narrow-minded? All I can see is a genuine concern about another person and some very good advice? Why are you looking for the bad in people... oh, yes, JW training, of course....
'Screwed up congregations' are not that difficult to find - there are plenty of them around, take your pick. And as finalcall was a JW for 38 years I am sure that they are well qualified to criticise and know what they are talking about - you only have to read many of the posts on this board to realise that hypocrisy exists in the organisation on a huge scale. As well as knowing about elders that go 40 miles to go to bars I am also aware of an elder who travels 25 miles to go to a betting office. And these men are supposed to be setting an example?
It is not just the actions of some that can be criticized but also the doctrines - again there is much proof on this board of that, enough surely to satisfy anybody.
To finalcall - I thank you for your insightful post and appreciate your comments - I found the latter half very encouraging.
It takes time to break away and learn to go to Christ w/o the WTS.
How true that is, and this is just what I am trying to achieve at the moment, trying to stand on my own two feet and examine my faith for myself, not through the pages of WT publications.